Humility is the virtue of virtues. It’s all about putting others first. The company, the customer, your colleague, and your boss. The more you display this, the more loved you will be at your work. I guarantee it! Ego has never been a force for good in the workplace. It is nothing more than poison. Every developer would be wise to keep it in check. Even when others flex theirs.
My Ego From The Start
I wasn’t always humble. In fact, I was quite the opposite. Especially in college. I grew up a cocky know it all. And I have to admit I still struggle with the know-it-all part. I started college after having already held a few tech jobs so the first year came easy. I would zone out during lectures and contemplate how I was going to build projects my way. After all, what could the professor possibly teach me that I didn’t already know?
Art Institute had put in place a review board to prevent students from progressing with minimum grades. They needed to ensure the quality of graduate portfolios. So at the end of each year, one of your classes was selected to have a final project that would demonstrate the culmination of all the skills you should have learned over the course of that year.
Well, I was in for a surprise. Because I thought it would be a cake walk. I did my own thing and ignored the constructive criticism by my peers. It was a children’s book that was built on a Jacob’s Ladder Toy. You would flip the top page to progress to the next page. The final week came and you had to present to the school board. They were brutally honest and tore it apart. I was given an F and held back.
I was devastated. Held Back? But How? I had such an amazing idea?! Or so I thought…
That quarter was a dose of reality. After that review, I mustered everything to listen to my peers. Throw away ideas and take every ounce of constructive criticism. Which wasn’t much. I had lashed out so much in the past, people were afraid to give me feedback. But after they saw that I didn’t bite back anymore they began to give more and I was all ears this time.
Eleven weeks went by and I aced the review and the course. To be honest I can’t even remember what my prize project was. Funny how I remember the terrible one more. But I learned a very valuable lesson. I realized I can’t truly see my work for what it is without the eyes of others. Only once you’ve gained the perspective of others, can you truly master your work.
My Neverending Struggle
Once I began my career my ego was never far behind me. As I made great strides my confidence got the best of me. And when that happened, colleagues and managers were swift to put me back in check. I got better at this though. With practice and time. Biting my tongue and trying to listen more. It takes time to cultivate humility as it is the virtue of virtues. Everything hinges on it and it touches every aspect of our behavior. It boils down to putting others before yourself. Here are some examples of opportunities where humility comes into play.
Company Priority
I want to preface this by saying, in no way am I advocating you work like a slave to a company that demands an unreasonable amount of your time.
Having said that, I frequently ask myself, am I working towards the highest priority goals of the company? Literally at least twice a day. In the morning before stand-up and after lunch. For most of us, programming is fun, and it’s easy to get distracted by making things for ourselves.
I sometimes find myself wanting to add features that were not requested, but that I thought might be cool. An uncomfortable spot can be when a project manager randomly checks in on you and you’re behind because you wanted to work on a feature they didn’t ask for. Even worse if the feature you added us buggy or causes regression issues. Double embarrassment!!
Stay on track, its ok to frequently ask project managers to clarify priority if it’s unclear. If you want to do something different or add a feature, propose it to them! They love ideas that add value to the customer. Just give them a chance to put it in a ticket and prioritize it. This is showing humility by putting their needs first.
Leaving for the Day
Often times in this industry there isn’t really a set time where you punch a clock in and out. There’s no shift schedule. In most cases, companies have fostered a more results-based approach. This can be misleading to some that may think, physical presence has no importance. It most certainly does.
I find the answer to this question by taking the following steps.
- Ask during the interview process, what are the average working hours? What time do engineers usually get in and when do they usually leave? The response can vary wildly from company to company. Always ask this question before your offer discussion.
- See when meetings are usually scheduled and make sure you’re on time for morning meetings and that you stay late enough for your afternoon meetings.
- Try to notice patterns of when most are at their desk. If everyone is pretty much back by lunch at 1:15, don’t be the one always back at 2. If everyone is working diligently till 6 pm, don’t be the first to leave right at 6.
You want to show that you are a team player? This displays humility by putting the time of others before your own.
Work Velocity
It’s very important to perform at the same output as your peers who hold the same responsibilities as you. Think of a tech team as rowers in a rowboat. You want to be in sync with the delivery. When you lag behind it means others on the team have to work harder to pick up the slack.
I’m not saying code as fast as possible but I want to talk about the seemly harmless way we lose velocity at work. In many tech companies, it’s very easy to get distracted by the snack pantry, the ping pong table, French Press coffee club, and general water cooler talk.
If you’re a rock star and you’re way ahead of your tasks it’s ok to take a small break. But if you’re barely hanging on to a reasonable amount of tasks assigned to you, it might be time to cut out all these little distractions. You will see your velocity improve and your team and product managers will really appreciate this!
Staying focused shows humility by putting your tasks before your own desires to enjoy the day.
Learning on the Job
There are a few cases where I got a job that I was underqualified for. The engineers around me where rockstars but by my luck, I was given the opportunity to work with them. What do you do in this situation?
Some may take the approach of finding people they can lean on for frequent help. This has actually hurt my relationships with individuals when I was starting out. Whenever you ask someone for help you as interrupting their train of thought. And it takes a very long time for that individual to return to what they were doing. If you put into perspective the cost of doing this to someone, you’ll want to reserve this behavior for when you’re really very stuck and you’ve done all the possible googling you could have done on your own.
The approach I recommend is doing your best to learn the things which are public knowledge on your own. That is, in it of itself, is a skill everyone needs to learn to continue moving forward in your career. If you don’t learn how to teach yourself you will always feel lost.
Google, Google, and Google some more. If your Google efforts fail then you might not be versed enough in how to Google that subject. So instead try to find intro or overview resources to that subject. To any piece of technology, understanding it just well enough to Google is a milestone everyone has to reach to begin using it with confidence.
Taking Criticism
It’s a fact that in this career you will receive criticism almost daily. And hopefully, it’s constructive but it won’t always be. I’ve told that my idea was really dumb or that I was ignorant. Those are not very constructive comments but there’s an opportunity to show humility regardless of how the criticism is delivered.
Now, if it is verbal abuse that’s different and you should feel safe talking to the proper people. But how you handle yourself in the moment is very important. People will always remember how you reacted more than how the other person initiated the discussion.
Usually when negative criticism is given, it doesn’t come with details. The easiest way to diffuse the situation is to respond by asking for clarity. ”Can you please explain why you think this is a dumb idea?” Begin to dig and try to find something you can learn or teach.
But most importantly, keep calm and listen, listen, LISTEN! This is not about you coming out on top. Clearly, this other individual is lashing out at a previous experience they had. It’s unfortunate but they are now taking it out on you. It’s your goal now to win them over by trying to understand their position in all this.
Displaying good listening skills shows humility because you’re putting the other individual’s voice over your own. If just for the moment, so you can understand their position.
Being Helpful
This is something that actually needs to be a careful dance. Many take this for granted. In my teens, my Father put me in the L.A. County Jr. Lifeguards program each summer. One of the skills I learned was how to save a drowning individual with a Lifeguard Rescue Can. The first thing you practice over and over is to quickly detach the strap from your body if the victim begins to climb the rope to you. It doesn’t take long for them to drown you with them!
Being helpful is about being accessible when people need you. You can be helpful no matter who it is that comes to you. Sometimes it’s as simple as directing someone to the proper individual. And when you can you shouldn’t have any problems coming to someone’s desk to help when they get stuck.
Never forget that you are part of a team. But remember my example of using the Rescue Can above? If they need help beyond 30mins they are taking away from your velocity and your responsibilities. In this case, I help them as much as I can and I point them to some online resources they can chew on.
Final thing is to try not to be forceful with your help. I always offer help and allow the other person to reciprocate. I’ve had a co-worker who took my help only 5% of the time I offered it. He was so humble, he couldn’t bring himself to take my time. Still, I offer and I keep myself accessible.
All in all, in most cases you can ask yourself who am I serving, the company or myself?
Have a situation you’re not sure how to handle? Ask it in the comments below!